Why Men Pull Away? Common Reasons That Make Him Run Away From You
Every woman has experienced, at least once in her life, the horrible feeling of being rejected by a man who does nothing else but pulling away from what seemed to be a promising relationship. This might have happened in the early stages of the relationship, after a few weeks or months, or even after they seemed to be a happily married couple.
No matter how long your relationship has been, the question that will most likely arise is: why men pull away? What makes them turn away and leave? Do we, women, do something wrong or is it just their nature?
Read on if you want to find out why men pull away and if you want to discover what to do to avoid being a victim of this frequent issue.
Why Men Pull Away: Understanding The Process
If you want to avoid having a partner that pulls away from the relationship, you should first understand the process of pulling away. This is the most complicated part because in most cases there could be no reason for a man to pull away from the relationship.
To understand this concept you should first understand the main behavioral differences between men and women and the dynamics of the relationships.
For us, women, it is easy to explain why we pull away from a relationship. We either don’t like a guy from the first place and put an end to a relationship after the first date, or we simply don’t feel attracted to him anymore for various reasons.
Things are slightly different for men. A man can pull away from a relationship even if there is nothing wrong with the relationship and even if he is more than attracted to the woman he’s dating. When asked why they pull away, most men admit that they don’t even know why, they just do.
Men can pull away for the most various and sometimes stupid reasons, including personal insecurities, fear or commitment difficulties. Therefore, you should understand what are the most common reasons why men pull away and analyze the context if you feel that your partner gets cold.
Basically, we can distinguish between three different situations:
- Men pull away in the early stages of a relationship
- Men pull away after getting close to you
- Men pull away and then come back
In each situation, there are different reasons that can cause them to pull away and because of this, each situation must be analyzed independently.
Reasons Why Men Pull Away In Early Stages
If you believe that you had the perfect date but he seems to be rather distant and doesn’t get back to you as soon as you thought, the guy you just date might be pulling away. Let’s see why men pull away: early stages.
1 – It Lacked Chemistry
When speaking about the chemistry between two people, specialists really refer to the chemistry, and the lack of it can really make a man pull away. Basically, the oxytocin, commonly known as the love hormone, raises when two people are attracted to each other. In some cases, however, the high level of oxytocin may cause the testosterone level to drop, which is perceived as stress by men. When this happens, even if things might seem to be good, guys might freak out and draw back.
2 – He Is Testing Your Needs
Yes, you read it right. Many men, at the beginning of a relationship, are testing the emotional needs of a potential partner. In other words, he will most likely not call or text you for a few days just to see what you do. In this way, a man is checking to see how weak you are, how attracted to him or how dependent you are, and tries to figure out if he wants to engage or not in a long-term relationship with you.
This testing period is very common among men and the advice is to wait until he calls or texts you. When he does, show him that you’re happy to see him again but make him understand that your happiness doesn’t depend on him. In this way, he will be less inclined in pulling away in future.
3 – He Is Not Sure About His Feelings
Another common reason that causes men to pull away in the early stages of a relationship is the lack of certainty about their feelings. If the man you’re dating has some reservations and is not sure whether he should take the relationship to the next stage or not, you should give him the time to sort things out or he might just turn and run away.
If you really want a man to commit, the best thing to do is to take the pressure off him. Let him enjoy his privacy and don’t pressure him to answer your calls or texts right away if you want to keep him.
As a rule, remember that any man you meet also has a life of his own and there are infinite reasons that can make him answer late, including work or taking care of family members. If he doesn’t answer right away it doesn’t mean that he’s not interested in you but your low self-confidence might cause him to run away for good.
Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close
So, the first date went well. So did the second. And you’re already thinking about taking the relationship to the next stage. But all of sudden your partner is starting to pull away. It can be extremely confusing to face a similar situation, that’s why I’m going to tell you what are the most common reasons why men pull away after getting close.
1 – He Is Under Pressure
It is not uncommon for most relationships to hit a critical stage when the partners have to make the decision if it’s worth moving forward or if it might be better to end everything. Most of the time women seek a quick answer to this period of uncertainty, especially if they feel that the relation should continue.
However, seeking for a quick answer usually puts a lot of pressure on your partner, who is forced to take a quick decision. The truth is that in most of the cases you will not like the decision he will come up with if you force him to decide quickly about what to do. Therefore, if you really want to stop him from pulling away, you should give him the time to think and clear his thoughts before deciding what he should do about your relationship.
2 – He Was Dating You For Sex
One of the most hurting situations is when a man pulls away right after you had sex with him. While this situation is extremely unpleasant for all women, you should keep in mind that if he is pulling away right after you got down, he was dating you for that purpose alone. There is nothing wrong with you and there is no need to wonder what you could have done differently.
As hard as it may be, pull yourself together and move forward. This experience will help you make a more accurate selection in future.
3 – He Doesn’t Feel Appreciated
Men have a competitive nature. They have a constant need of feeling appreciated and love women who make them feel unique about their qualities. If you used to make compliments to your man at the beginning of your relationship you shouldn’t stop just because you got used to each other.
To better understand this concept just think: do you like being complimented by your partner even after you have been together for quite some time? Yes? Well, so does he. And he will most likely seek appreciation elsewhere if you don’t give it to him.
4 – He Found Someone Else
As sad as it may seem, this can happen from time to time. There are many reasons why he can lose interest in you, from feeling unappreciated to simply losing his feelings for you. If it is hard to stop him from pulling away in this situation, if you work hard enough you might get his attention and love back.
Keep in mind that you should not put any pressure on him or force him to choose between you and the other. Instead, try to behave just as you did when you first met him to look attractive in his eyes again.
Reasons Why Men Pull Away And Then Come Back
If in the two situations described above men usually pull away for good, there are also moments when men pull away and then come back after short periods of time. This can be really frustrating, but this doesn’t mean that he is playing with your feelings. Here are the most common reasons why men pull away and then come back.
1 – He Needs Some Time Alone
Most of the time women feel the constant need to be with their partners. This includes going shopping, socializing or doing daily chores.
On the other hand, men usually like to be independent and to have their personal space respected. If you overwhelm your partner and invade his personal space you may notice him pulling away from time to time, then turning back to you after a period of independence.
To avoid this, learn to give your man some time alone. This doesn’t mean you should stay at home and wait for him while he is having fun on his own. Learn to do things alone, go out with your friends or join a cooking class. Meanwhile, your partner will be able to enjoy his time alone and he will not feel the need of pulling away.
2 – He Is Inexperienced
If you are really young, chances are that the guy you’re dating lacks dating experience. This, combined with a shy character can make a man behave in a more “girlish” way. The vast majority of the inexperienced guys tend to believe that a woman will become more interested and attracted if they constantly pull away and then come back.
In this case, all you have to do is have a serious talk with your partner and tell him that things are slightly different. If it doesn’t work, you might want to find a more experienced or mature partner.
What To Do If Your Partner Pulls Away
Now, that you know why men pull away from a relationship, you might also want to find out how to deal with it. Here are a few tips that should help you stop him from pulling away.
- Use Reverse Psychology: most men tend to want what they can’t have. So, if you notice that he is pulling away, you should pull away a little too. Don’t chase him, don’t call him and, above all, don’t show yourself disappointed by his behavior. Show him that he is not essential for your happiness and he will most likely stop from pulling away.
- Maintain The Personal Space: if you keep doing the things you were doing before knowing him, he will be less tempted to pull away. Don’t give up to your night outs with the girls and make plans that don’t include him on a regular basis. In this way he will also be able to maintain his independence and he will probably not pull away from the relationship.
- Improve Communication: it might not seem so, but poor communication can be one of the main causes why men pull away. Make sure you listen to your partner and understand his needs before having an argument. Try to understand the male’s psychology and act accordingly. If your man will notice that you really understand him, chances are he will not feel the need to pull away.
As you can see, there are many reasons why men pull away, but with the right strategies, your men will never feel the need of doing so. If you’re not sure about what to do, or if you need more advice, click here to find out more about the Best Dating Guides.